"According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death.  For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not.  For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:  Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.  And having this confidence, I know that I shall abide and continue with you all for your furtherance and joy of faith;  That your rejoicing may be more abundant in Jesus Christ for me by my coming to you again."  Philippians 1:20-26

"For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.  I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:  Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing."  2 Timothy 1:6-8

Have you ever found yourself in a place where you had a desire to do one thing but found it necessary to do something else altogether? This is the very spot in which the Apostle Paul found himself. He had a personal desire to go home to be with the Lord. However, the needs of the church convinced him it was more needful for him to continue working for the advancement of the church in faith.  Paul’s anxious desire was for a prosperous issue of his present circumstances and believed the prayers of the church for him would lead to his deliverance: his hope and prayer, as well as that of the church, was for him to be released from prison. And he was for a short time. 

Many of my aged friends have confided to me that their longing for their heavenly home grows more and more with each passing year. But they, like Paul, see family needs and a reason to stay here a bit longer. Now, in my advanced years, I am beginning to fully understand that thinking. While Paul’s dilemma in this passage was due to persecution and being in prison, he had endured. I surmise that some of his internal conflict could have been due to his advanced age. The weight of the ministry was taking its toll on his physical body. We can say with Paul, “For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ which is far better: Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.”

Paul’s life had been so completely given over to the person and ministry of Christ his Lord that he could say without reservation, “For me to live is Christ.” Jesus Christ was the sum total of his life and his reason for existence. To die for the cause of Christ would be to Paul a great gain.  In death the limitations of life would give way to the complete realization of our total and unhindered followship with our Lord Jesus Christ. In the mean time we must continue in the business of our Lord while we remain in our bodies of flesh.

When it comes our day to be "offered up," as Paul put it in 2 Timothy 1:6-8, may we be able to say with him, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.”